I love the book Mindset by Carol Dweck. It is a book about the transformative power of a growth mindset (and the limiting effect of a fixed mindset).
In the book the author tells a story of Nadja Salerno-Sonnenberg, who made her violin debute at 10 years old with the Philadelphia Orchestra. Yet, when she arrived at Julliard to study with Dorothy Delay, the great violin teacher, she had a repertoire of awful habits. She even held her violin wrong. However, she refused to change. After several years she saw the other students catching up and even surpassing her. By her late teens she lost her confidence. She was used to the success and prodigy label so many had given her. Now she felt like a failure.
It might have been at this point she realized her fear. Her fear of trying. Fear of failure. Fear was holding her back.
Nadja said, “If you go to an audition and don’t really try, if you’re not really prepared, if you didn’t work as hard as you could have and you don’t win you have an excuse. Nothing is harder than saying, ‘I gave it my all and it wasn’t good enough’.”
The idea of trying and still failing, of leaving yourself without excuses can be scary. It haunted and paralyzed Nadja, even to the point that she stopped bringing her violin to her lessons.
One day, after years of patience and understanding, Delay told her that if she didn’t bring her violin to the lesson next week she was throwing her out of her class. Nadja thought she must be joking. But Delay let her know she wasn’t. She said, “I’m not kidding. If you want to waste your talent, I don’t want to be a part of it. This has gone on long enough.”
Nadja decided that trying, honestly trying, and failing was better than the course she was on. And so she began training with Delay for an upcoming competition. For the first time she went all out and ended up winning the competition.
Now she says, “This is something I know for a fact: You have to work hardest for the things you love.”
This story left me wondering how much of myself I was throwing into the things that matter most to me. It made me think about focus. And it made me wonder how much I was really trying.
Let me break down each of these thoughts.
Nadja knew her ONE thing: the violin. I am still not sure of mine. But I’m realizing that even if I don’t know I need to focus on the best thing (that with the most meaning and potential) at this point in my life.
I know it’s not a story of focus, but it made me realize I am doing a lot of different things. My efforts are too scattered. I can’t fully succeed in any of the areas because of this wide spread of my attention and effort. I need to focus.
And more than anything else this story of Nadja made me wonder if I was acting like the scared Nadja that wouldn’t change or try something different for fear that it might fail. Or was I the Nadja that was going all out to be successful?
I guess the real question for you is are you focused and using all your creativity and effort into becoming the best that you can be in one particular area?
That’s a tough question and I have a feeling the answer could change your life.